Hmms. Been thinking here and there recently. ehh, i should rephrase it. its this starting of e year! i've a double-life. a double kim that u all cant see. who is really e actual me? years started w not a good life for me. been thinking and thinking and cant get rid off. no one knows except myself and God. share w no one e ever deepest in me. feel so down. nothing could just cheer me up, nothing.

a diff me that no one can figure out. But Life still gonna go on. i cant live a double life. outside of me and inside is totally diff. and i really cant take it anymore, just couldnt go on. have to ask myself what am i thinking? use verses and verses to remind myself but still failed. and today during CGM, i know e words that they share ARE for me and tears and tears are flowing down. what is gg on? my heart is soft but yet hard. i can see im doing great things for Him but yet on e another side, what happen? But give me just some time, my dear frens.

Hmms. and today, shared Offering msg e 1ST time. and was quite disappointed nah. i can do betta den that! but just forget e msg i wanna share suddenly and yet gonna look at e paper. and i've no courage, i've no Boldness! heart was beating real fast. one of my weakness is "lack of boldness". ask myself this question, "what's my strength?" and im thinking, do i have?

Hmms. But still. Thank God! my ever ever Joy in my life! Daddy God, Thank You for everything. i prayed, O God! contiune to protect Him and guide Him thru this walk w You. and one thing i know is His Life will surely Change by You! and i know, One day, when i go to Heaven, i can meet him there! Thank You Jesus for answering my Prayers! i've nothing to say but JOY w tears.

*am i strong?