Hmms. One week since i updated my blog. Sorry that i havent been replying all e taggies. cos im kinda "lazy" and "tired" to get in to my Blog. but i guess there're still some ppl who tag which i dono who but thanks for entering this blog.

Hmms. so ya. never been good this few days, weeks, mths. all i have in my heart was Heavy. really Heavy. and no one will know how i feel. just like what i told terry and yuping. no one will ever know how i feel, seriously. even thou some ppl kept saying 'i know how u feel'. but all i can still say is "no one will ever know how i feel". and during worship today, i really turn out into brust. tears like no body business. and Tears=Pimple. *FYI, i will. pimple will pop out when i tears very bad. so u'll see my face having pimple nowsaday. and e Burden, e Pain, e sickness, e worries, e fear, e lonelyness, e tiredness, e disappointment, Connect Grp, e things that im facing now IS really pushing me more and more towards Heaven. But what can i really do but to put a Smile and pretend nth have happen? its really hard, u know. all this, i really dono. u doesnt know what im gg thru now. and just like what i said, no one know how i feel, just no one.

and im really tired.. but who on earth will not get tired? everyone get tired. im trying to find back myself. doing great things for Him, a CGC, serving Him, a Relationship w Him. in e outside when people look i was like 'having' all this, but in my inside u doesnt know. and now that's e reason to e question which ppl usually asked "rise-up"?. i know myself. i'll sure fall de. even now just a CGC and im falling. and this time round im really falling just that i don dare to ask for 'step down'. and i really feel down when i don even know how to encourage cheer up her when she's facing e same feeling as me. i really feel bad cos everytime when im down, she's e one who encouarge me up. and now, i really doesnt know. everything was really a bomb and i really don even want to go on le.

and yea. i've called to cancel e appt that i needed to go for e couselling. e med are really scary nah. sometime i'll even try to skip e meal of avoiding e med. or pretend that there's no med in my bag. i don even tot of gg for e scanning cos why cares when e person who is closest to u doesnt cares about u? i know that frens out there are still caring for me but i feel bad that i gave em e worries. but aiyo. come on. sure nth will happen de la. He~llo! im so "Healthy". but i don deny that im worry. worry sure cfm have le but life still gonna go on. if you're my frens, pls don ask me to go for e scanning.

*a HEAVY Heart that no one will know how it feel.