GOD!! what is happening??? i really dono. seriously. just one day, things that i cant imaging, its has happen. gosh! what is all this things happening. don wanna mention it. but all i know is GOD, its not my fault. its really hard. God. i really cannot take it le and e wire have alrdy break. Daddy God. only You're one who knows. and In e end, You're e one who JUDGE everyone, and Only You who know e truth. and Daddy God. its really really Hard to do all e things. and maybe i bother others too much le. and ya, its time i WILL NOT bother anything, listen up! I WILL NOT BOTHER ANYTHING. and still. in e end i gonna say, God is e one who know everythings. eveythings that i've done. everythings that i've said or things i never said or feel or whateva. God's knows. whateva it said, it is done. what happen it alrdy happen le. everything was a past. even a min ago, was a past.

Hmms. today was rather a word from Heaven for me. its really God's word to me. "Fortitude!" i'll not GIVE UP! i still rmb what God spoke to me during CGM. and Daddy God. i really cry out to You. i want more of You! Your Purpose. and i really want to complete this race just for You. not for anyone but for u alone. but i wanna rephrase it. 'I'll not give up on my walk w God. but there're certain things i need to give up'. or rather others ppl things which doesnt concern about me, i'll give up also. and ya.

i may not know what is happening. and kinda stressed up w so many things alrdy and everything just bomb in one goal. and my head has not been right this few days. and just like what i said to em. if u think so, it is so lor. if u don think so, its not lor. so whateva u all wanna think or anything. it is not for me to decide, it You. its ur heart. i only know what i do it correct. don believe, i don care. God Believe. God see. and im happy w it le.

and went to see e doc. and e doc asked "did u have enough rest?", "are u stress up w anything". and e doc asked me not to take spicy things due to my gastric and i feel so wasted asin e money, waited 1hr45min for e whole progress. thou its only cost $5.90. but i think i could just eat pandadol will do can le. and i tell myself, giddy giddy lor. faint faint lor. die die lor. and i tell myself, its very easy to die de. i can go to e road and just get bang by e car or by simply just jump off e building, isnt that easy? and i know what my weakness since ytd. yuping knows. and ya, think think i don wanna die just liddat cos i haven do Great things for God. and i e purpose i live is cos of God. not of anyone else. and what's more, i've one Life to live and its Jesus who give it to me. e more i must treasure it. so ya. alright!