Hmms. Daddy God! I NEED YOU! tell me how can i move on. i really dono how. i tell myself that if i got anything wrong. im fainted half way during my journey to anywhere, i get bang by any car while walking on e road. don blame me. its not my fault. its all ur fault. alright, firstly. i dono u are really my mother. or am i really ur fresh blood daughter. i dono. or rather am i picked from rubbish bin. i dono. i still rmb, when i was in pri sch, i use to tell my frens that i have no mother, my mother died alrdy. and ya, i dono why u treat me differently. and i was thinking, am i really really ur REAL daughter.

and i still rmb e testimony i share during appreciation CG. and i really feel terrible after all e banging and everything. i really don wish to do it, but u push me to do it. u doesnt know after i do all e banging, how my heart feel. i don think u'll be sad but one thing i know u are angry and and u'll complain to my aunty and u'll say sth like. if i know earlier, i could wont want u and i could rather give u to my father. and i was thinking. great! all along, i wanna be w him. so i could rather be thankful. but no matter where he is, where he stay, no money, no house, no food, nothing. i'll rather go w him. and tell u, I MISS HIM. and tell u one more thing. i wanna to do anything to get inside. and stay inside w him. rather den living in this house w dono how to say. and ya. since u wan me to pay everything by myself. fine, I'LL PAY BY MYSELF! and Daddy God, HOW? i was thinking, how to move on? 1 day $5. and u ask me to pay Transport fare, food and everything? and i still got Building fund and tithe which she dono. and i cry out to God. God! how am i gg to carry on. i dono.

and now, when i go work, i never eat my lunch or rather breakfast? i'll go home eat my dinner which my ah ma cook. why? all i wan is to save e $5 to give to my Building fund, tithe and now transport fare and everything. and i was so stress up. ok, since u wan liddat, ok ar. i fulfill ur "dreams"? but if anything happen to me, or u get a phone call from police that im dead. sorry, there's no rewind.

and all e long, i wish to have a 'HAPPY FAMILY'. i was rather jealous about others. about my cousin cos they have a family. what is every child dreams. is to have a family. and ya, actually i wanna to blog an exciting, and interesting things that i wanna blog past few days. But don think i could wan to blog le. i could blog it up either tmr or other day bahs. but sorry Guyz, for e dono how to say 'entires' that i updated.